night weaning sucks

Last night, my angelic housemate, Shannon, treated me to a night in a hotel by MYSELF. It was my first night away from Uma in the 18 months we're been together (actually I guess 27 months counting my pregnancy. It was an incredible gift, one that I needed desperately to get a full nights sleep, however it frightened me and saddened me too.
I knew that Uma is more than safe with Shannon but I felt that emmense guilt that is a byproduct of mamahood. I didn't really know what to do with myself so I took myself out to a movie, got a huge tub of buttered popcorn and saw a flick about Jane Austen. I was a ball of tears throughout the preview- each one had a theme about mothers and chlidren being separated and reunited etc. The movie itself was tear-jerker and I felt quite cleansed by the end, although sick from too much popcorn. Ironically, back at the hotel I was across from some crazy girls in their twenties partying it up all night. Still, I got more sleep than I had in months.
Shannon and Uma did wonderfully. Uma did amazing all night, just a little peep here and there.
Shannon seemed to have had a better time than I did.
So tonight, after swimming and dancing the night away to a Zimbabwean band, I tried to put her down to sleep without falling asleep on the boob. Interestingly, my metaphor for breastfeeding toddlers in the night is that it's like they have a tub of hot buttered popcorn next to them at all times. They don't need to eat it, but if iyou woke up to a tub of popcorn, what would you do?
We've been co-sleeping and breastfeeding from day one of her existence, so a deep groove has been created in her psyche that this is what she does. I love sleeping in bed with her,and I still love nursing her, but at night it just *has* to stop.
I need to stop being a zombie in the daytime, I desperately want to be a fully functioning human again.
Uma was not happy about this change in course, needless to say. She was biting at my shirt, screaming, and hitting me. She seemed to be okay if she climbed on top of me, but she would not let me sneak out. I tried about half a dozen times.
Finally, she was so exhausted that she drifted into dreamland.
We'll see how the rest of the night goes.
At least I have some sleep to back me up.